Elegance

As a boy, movies had a huge influence on my life: especially the one’s starring Bogart, Stewart, Ladd, Mitchum, Grant, the Duke, and McQueen. One of the attributes I admired in the characters these men portrayed was their savoir-faire: each of them had a unique and finely honed masculine serenity, gallantry and elegance about them. In their time, the description would be that they were “polished.”

By elegance, I don’t mean how these guys dressed or held their cigarettes, although this was part of it, especially with Grant, but more of a case where the characters they portrayed knew just the right word, the appropriate posture to take or gesture to make, and how to behave in each context, so as to congruently show up as a man who was honoring the moment with his full and respectful presence.

As I understand elegance, it is never overwrought, never complex, but, rather, is simplicity itself

True elegance strips away the extraneous word and gesture, and demonstrates itself with only what is appropriate and necessary to the demands or needs of the moment

True elegance is all about respecting the event, the occasion, and the people that are being encountered in the moment

True elegance flows from a soul who knows who he is, where he is, and, then, intuits the most efficacious and appropriate manner to behave

True elegance pays attention to gestures, postures, words, and attitudes, because it knows that such things (if authentic) are tied to the soul, and, therefore, paying respectful attention to one (body) cannot be accomplished without giving attention to the other (soul), and vice versa

True elegance is not about snobbery, although some will mistake it as such, but about respect and honor

Think about the Japanese Tea Ceremony, where teas and small sweets are served to guests. The exact gestures and phrases are endlessly rehearsed (practice and repeat, practice and repeat, ad infinitum) so as to give the moment and the guests due regard. It’s a small thing, all things considered, yet in this ceremony, performed with laser-like attention to detail, each phrase and gesture is designed to demonstrate respect for the guests, for self, and for what is transpiring in that moment.

St. Paul said, “Love has … manners.” In loving others, in loving the very moment in which we are living, we give people, things, events, places, and etc., a demonstration of our love, respect, and honor, by how we are behaving in that context.

Love and respect requires that we study so as to perform the appropriate gestures, phrases, attitudes and demeanors for the occasion. No gesture is seen as irrelevant, no phrase is mindlessly spoken, no posture thoughtlessly adopted, for each has been chosen and expressed with due respect and honor for the people, the occasion and for the moment in time we find ourselves.

Or so I believe …

Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2008