A Question of Manipulation

One of the questions that comes up when dealing with the topic of reinvention—at least as I am describing it—regards “manipulation.”

“When we create a role that takes up space in the minds of the Powers That Be, are we not seeking to manipulate people?”

Contrary to some people’s thinking, I see the word “manipulation” as value-neutral. The question for me is always Towards What End? I deeply appreciate the chiropractor manipulating my weary bones, for example.

The word “manipulation” is like the word “ambition.” There is rarely success or progress without ambition, yet for some reason it is usually spoken of pejoratively. The question for me, however, is, “Ambitious for … what?” Only then can I assign a positive or negative value.

When seeking to persuade someone to come to a decision or to take action, do you not speak in a certain tone, choose appropriate words, generate a certain degree of energy? Are you not thereby seeking to manipulate the person?

Most all of you reading this Dress For Success (to some degree, anyway) when you go to work, entertain potential clients, etc. Are you not seeking to “manipulate” people to see you in a particular light?

When you step into a room filled with the Powers That Be (PTB), do you not move Just So: making certain you speak to him, acknowledge her presence, make the rounds so as to be seen by them? Why? You do this because it creates the desired image (Power and Authority), which, in turn, will serve to add cache or value to your reputation. You are “manipulating” your image in the minds of others, are you not?

One of the comments previously posted was, “People see what they want to see.” I couldn’t agree more. People look at us through the prism of their beliefs, expectations, present psychological states, biases, etc. So, if you decide that keeping your job is important to you, that success is critical to your future well-being, I suggest that you ascertain the mindset of those you intend to influence and then craft the role you need to play, so as to be perceived in the manner you desire.

Example. If The PTB perceives your quiet demeanor as weak (due to their peculiar mindset), then you will want to “act” in ways that they will consider strong or assertive. Quiet is not a synonym for Weak, but some people think otherwise. If these people are the Gate Keepers, it doesn’t help for you to sit quietly, thinking quiet thoughts to yourself about their idiocy. You have to “act” in ways that demonstrate your strengths in their minds.

Example. The football stadium is filled with 60,000 citizen-voters. The choir is singing, America the Beautiful. Right when it gets to the phrase, “The laaaaAAND of the FREEEEEEE …” four fighter jets burst across the sky. And then, “Ladies and Gentlemen” (American Flags waving in the wind behind the individual): “The President of the United States!” Or, “The Future President of the United Sates.” Why this act? Because the symbols create the desired image … these are symbols that others perceive as “Presidential” and “Patriotic.” (I do think that, today, people are quite aware that such “acts” can be deceiving, but the point is still valid: “I need to act Just So, so as to create the desired image.”)

To all of this, some will still insist that, no, they are NOT seeking to manipulate, only to influence. Whatever.

Okay. If it helps, think in terms of “managing your image.”

What is the image you want to create in the minds of others? How are you going to accomplish this? How will you manage yourself—dress, talk, comportment, and expertise—so as to maintain this image?

If you don’t care how others perceive you, you are handing your image (and reputation) over to others to manage.

Maybe they will do a better job than you?

Maybe they care more about your success than you?

Maybe. I doubt it.

Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2010