The Alchemy of Silence

The last few posts I have been commenting on reinvention and the task of adopting roles (particularly at work) that cause you to stand out from the herd, in the minds of the Powers That Be. I have been careful to emphasize that I am referring to APPROPRIATE ATTENTION, mind you, using the illustration of how Court Jesters can attract attention but never be taken seriously.

For some personality types, the temptation is to think that the role that attracts the most attention is the gadfly. First of all, most offices already have this actor. so you won’t be standing out all that much. Second, the incessant talker who insists on chiming in on every topic of conversation, no matter how inane, is, as everyone knows except the gadfly, annoying. Not exactly the image of authority, eh?

But what about the person who, eschewing the inane, feels that he must have something important to say, something “valuable” to add to the “important” conversations? While you certainly do not want an image of being the Fifth Wheel--an unnecessary appendage that can easily be removed without any measurable loss--adding your two-cents so as to always be seen as a contributor is worth … what? Two-cents?

Silence is Golden
In my last post, I suggested that extroverts may want to consider refraining from a constant need to be transparent, so as to create an air or aura of mystery. This is different from the silence that is due to fear or insecurity. “What if I say something wrong or stupid?” No, the role I am referring to is the one used by actors such as Mitchum or Burton, whose serene stillness attracted the most attention.

Think about it: In an age where everyone is preening, posturing and prattling on and on so as to grab his or her Fifteen Minutes of Fame, it seems to me that, today,

Less is More

Minimalism Trumps Maximalism

Or at least this is a possibility that you may want to consider when creating your role.

Saying less, remaining silent when everyone else around you is speaking, can be a challenge.

Have you ever noticed how many people expect you to share your every thought, to be “honest” about your feelings regarding everything being discussed, and then insist on interpreting every word you have spoken? Of course, his or her interpretation is The Truth, regardless of your protestations! Have you also noticed how many of these same people then use that information to control you? “This is who you are!” “That is what you said.” Thereby putting you into a box from which, in their minds, you will never escape.

If Information is Power, then information given at the most appropriate time and in the most succinct manner—well, that is nuclear power!

Guard your thoughts. Hold your cards to your chest. The more people press and cajole you to be “honest,” to make your “contribution,” the more they are simply playing into your hands. Wait … waaaaait … not yet … hold your tongue …

When you do speak, do so in short concise sentences, and do not say everything that is on your mind. He will go crazy over what was not said. She will seek to add to what you were intending to say (or so she thinks), had you kept speaking. When they do this, they will invariably let you know their thoughts, their motivations, and their agendas. Handy. Also, when the meeting or conversation is over, their every thought will be about you: what you possibly meant (or was it?), and what you left unsaid.Voila! An image of Mystery and Power, created.

Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2010