Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Admiration and familiarity are strangers
George Sand

There can be no prestige without mystery, for familiarity breeds contempt.
Charles De Gaulle

If am often seen at the theater, people will cease to notice me
Napoleon

It’s finally getting cooler here, in Atlanta. Needless to say, for a guy who hates the heat, this is a welcome change. Of course, many people here are thinking the same thing, except, for the most part, when the winter months do arrive they will soon be pining away for the sun and heat. Not me, mind you, but then I am not the average guy. Ruminating on this led me to thinking about the saying, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Or is it “Absinthe”? Anyway …

There is something about absence that we need to remember in our quest for developing an image of authority and power.

The familiar becomes boring, or at least something we take for granted

The familiar becomes predictable, which, in turn, means you are no longer unique

Familiarity breeds contempt: not always, of course, but often enough to make it something about which we are cautious.

Once familiarity sets in, people begin defining you in terms of your weaknesses and faults. Or so I have seen. Remember what Ben Franklin said, “Fish and visitors stink in three days.” Time your “comings and goings,” so as to never stink!

Obviously, if you are in the early stages of creating a role that causes you to stand out from the herd, you will want to appear everywhere: helping complete this project, adding value to that team, serving those supervisors in their quest for success. However, after your image is seared into the minds of the Powers That Be, it is time for them to experience some tactful absence.

Where is she? We could really use her input on this project?

Has anyone seen him lately? We need his wisdom on this.

Someone go find her and tell her we need her. It feels like we are only operating on 4-cylinders.

Most people don’t get this treatment until their funerals. Don’t wait until you die for people to forget about the things that bored, aggravated, or upset them, only remembering the good things about you. Learn when to leave the stage for a while, creating desire and anticipation for your soon return.

Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2010