Never Upstage the Boss

Show me a man who is a good loser and I will show you a man who is playing golf with his boss. Jim Murray, American sports writer and Pulitzer Prize winner

It seems self-evident, but all too often I have witnessed otherwise sane people making their bosses look bad. This is usually NOT a good idea. In fact the only time I can think it would be okay is if the boss was on his way out … but, even here, it can backfire on you, as it may cast you in a poor light in the mind of your future boss, not to mention your peers.

As you are reinventing yourself, creating a role that will take up space in the minds of the Powers That Be, you will want to be careful when both you AND your suoervisor are in the stage at the same time. In most cases, bosses prefer being center stage.

Give the boss credit for your ideas. Publicly. He knows who did what. If he wishes, he can deflect the praise and give you the Atta-boy. If he receives the praise for work he did not do ... well that is useful information, isn’t it?

If you run a successful project or campaign, make certain you say something to the effect that you couldn’t have accomplished x without his support. Yes, even if he did absolutely nothing to help you. You hold your job because he chooses to keep you employed, so it is not that much of a stretch to say, “He supported me,” is it?

Never argue with your boss in front of other people. If you have a serious problem with what he is saying or doing, go to him in private. However, even if no one else is around, maintain a respectful demeanor. Yes, even if he is unjustly chewing you out. Stand your ground, make your points, but do not hit back. Ever.

I am not talking about those conversations where there is a lot of give-and-take: where the supervisor is looking for different perspectives, approaches, ideas. Here you should share your mind. Respectfully.

I know. Some of you are great friends with your supervisors. This doesn’t mean, however, that you can take liberties with him. Michelle Obama might call the President “Obama” or “Dear,” but I guarantee that his closest friends call him Mr. President. The office is to be respected. Period. (Ok. Maybe this is just a hallucination of mine. Maybe they call him "Barry." You get the point.)

Even Saints have egos. If you wish to remain in the good graces of your supervisor, you will not want to threaten his ego.

And if YOU are a supervisor and are reading this?

You need the team’s input. Encourage healthy debate. Remember, “teamwork” is not where everyone is running around doing what you told him or her to do!

Cultivate an atmosphere of openness.

Don’t be thin-skinned. Realize that your employees are telling jokes about you around the cooler. If you overhear them, consider telling a joke about yourself that you thought particularly funny. While you can’t allow disrespect to develop in your team, you also do not want an image that creates fear of ever disagreeing with you. You might as well acknowledge your humanity. After all, everyone around you is already aware of it, eh?

When appropriate, share some of your past defeats and failures. This will encourage your team to be honest about the things that are not going well for them … while you can still do something about it!

Seek to win your team’s respect, on a daily basis. Give praise where it is due and help where it is needed. Put flesh and bones to the vision and values you espouse, through you words, behavior, and attitudes. Be the sort of person you want others to become.

Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2010