The Oxygen of Communicating

A salesperson is clearly communicating the value of her product while the audience is silently thinking, “How long is this going to take?”

A minister is passionately sharing his message with a congregation that is lost in thoughts of various fears and concerns about their lives.

A team member is relating data she believes pertinent to the team’s deliberation, while most of her team members are experiencing MEGO disease. (My-Eyes-Glaze-Over.)

A history teacher is holding forth on the American Revolution in the 1700s, while his students are contemplating the pros and cons of sneaking out of the house tonight, after their parents have gone to sleep.

What is missing in each of these scenarios?


What is it that keeps those with whom you are communicating in the right frame of mind so as to genuinely be open to your influence?

What is the most critical source of efficaciousness in persuasiveness?

What is the oxygen that keeps your conversation alive?

What is it that all Great Communicators possess and ineffectual communicators overlook or even consider trivial?

What is…rapport? It is the answer to every question just asked. Rapport is the difference between broadcasting your message and actually communicating.


Rapport is a connection between people, a sense of appropriate symbiosis/ mutuality.

Rapport is the maintaining of a relationship with those with whom you are seeking to communicate.

Rapport is the continual captivation of the attention of those with whom you wish to persuade.

Rapport is an atmosphere of trust.

Rapport is an ongoing demonstration of understanding.

I have watched the most articulate and elegant speakers—religious leaders, politicians, salespeople, lobbyist and parents—fail to achieve their outcome because they did not maintain rapport. And once you have lost rapport, you either get it back or acknowledge that all you are doing is throwing words at the people around you.

The next few posts will focus on what goes into attaining and maintaining rapport.

Stay Tuned!

Coyright, Monte E Wilson, 2009