Accept It

If I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
Hurt, Nine Inch Nails

By the time you reach my age in life--a tad older than 8 years old … in doggy years--you have typically done some serious damage to yourself, as well as to others. False steps, false identities and false professions leave you and others with bleeding chest wounds. The challenge for us 8 year olds, is that some of the pain is intensified by the fact that the years in front of us are fewer than the years behind.

Is there enough time to get over the hurt and find a reasonable amount of healing and peace? Are there enough years left to make amends, wherever possible? Can you rebuild a life filled with purpose and passion? Is there enough time left to actually realize even a few of your dreams or visions?

The simple answer is, “Yes.” Of course “Yes” can also be a simplistic answer.

Just repeat these incantations (also known as Positive Confessions)

Take these three steps and Voila

Say this prayer

Obey these divine writings, and all will be well

Follow this guru

Even words of wisdom can become nonsense, if they are heard and acted upon as some sort of magical formula. Switching metaphors, people are not software programs that can be reprogrammed by rearranging the 1s and 0s, “just so.”

It Happens: Accept It
I think the first step on the path called The Rest of My Life is acceptance. We have to accept What Is. As the saying goes, “It Happens.” (Or something that sounds like It, anyway.) It Happened. There is no changing It. You want to learn from It, avoid as much of It in the future as possible, but you must not pretend that It did not happen.

Getting all worked up about It just may be evidence of some latent arrogance. “How could anyone as smart/ disciplined/wise/spiritual have thought/said/done/felt/ such a thing?” Riiiiiiiiight.

By the way, I say Accept your It: I do not mean Approve of your It. Big Difference. “It is what it is” is not the same as “It’s all gooooood!” (Note my perfect Jim Carrey intonation!)

Of course, this is just as applicable to those of you who are much younger. The challenge for younger adults, however, is the temptation to ignore It. “I have plenty of time. I’ll get to It, sometime in the future.” With that attitude, you will wake up around 50 and realize that all the It is STILL THERE … and much more difficult to deal with: not to mention, much more costly. Moldy, petrified It. Ugh.

Young people often live with the notion that they have all the time in the world. O, they know better, intellectually. But, as far as their actual day-to-day living, they are often foolish, regarding time.

You don’t have plenty of time. Ask any one you know in his or her 70s how fast time flies. “Gone in a wink.” This is why older people sometimes grow impatient with young people: They feel time slipping away, while young people think that they have all the time in the world. They feel the weight of all their could-haves, would-haves and should-haves, and desperately want their younger friends and loved ones to avoid taking on the same burdensome weight.

Grab all the love, joy, meaningfulness, and productivity you can, TODAY, for you do NOT know what tomorrow may bring.

Given what I have written here, I find the words of the late great, legendary Coach John Wooden to be invaluable: “Be quick, but don’t hurry.”

Decide to accept where you are, and the life you have created (up until now), TODAY. It is what It is. However, while making such a decision can be done quickly, maintaining that decision over time is a process. If you hurry past the process, whatever peace you do find will be shallow and fleeting.

When dealing with It, don’t waste time, but don’t work so quickly that you miss some of It!

When envisioning and creating your future, remember that the future will arrive far more quickly than you can imagine: do the work, get on down the path, but don’t hurry past the wisdom and happiness that can be found in this very moment.

Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2010