Patterns for Persuasion

After my last posting, a few people emailed noting that one of the main arenas for fuzzy communication and arguments is with what is referred to as “complex equivalents.”

A + B = C
People that smoke will die of cancer.
Being late means that you do not respect me.
I can’t do that. That’s not who I am.
Adopting this policy will lead to disaster.

However,

What if A = B which leads to D?
What if A + B quite often equals E?

Years ago, Robert Dilts created what he referred to as Sleight of Mouth patterns, which are something like Sleight of Hand where the “magician” appears to accomplish the impossible with a few deft moves of his hands. Afterward, people expanded upon Dilt’s original list to include other useful patterns. The idea is not so much that any single pattern will convince your audience to accept your argument but more a case where the accumulation of patterns moves your audience from opposing your assertions, to questioning their position, to agreeing with you.

Here are some examples of Sleight of Mouth Patterns

1. Change Frame: Something they haven’t noticed? Different frame, same behavior.

2. Reality Strategy: How would you know if it wasn’t true?

3. Model of the World: Switch referential index/Is this true in all world models?

4. Intent: What is the purpose of saying this? What is the secondary gain? What are they trying to get or avoid?

5. Time Distortion: What were they thinking BEFORE they decided to believe this? What could you do to get them back to this time?

6. Counter Example: Invert belief/Was there ever a time when A did not = B? Always? Every time? Has to be?

7. Redefine on cause/evidence: What other meaning could this equation have? A/=B, A=C and that is D.

8. Chunk Up (exaggerate on cause/evidence): For what purpose? What’s important about this?

9. Chunk Down: Which X specifically? How specifically does it cause Y?

10. Redefine on effect/beliefs/values: What other meaning could this equation have? A/=B, A=C and that is D.

11. Another outcome you (what is more relevant?): What is another outcome? Whether I “x” or not isn’t the real issue, but rather…

12. Consequences: What will happen if they continue to think this way?

13. Hierarchy of Criteria on effect/beliefs/values: What is/are higher criteria? Apply higher criteria to current sentence.

14. Metaphor/Analogy: Within the context of a story, what would the opposite of this be?

15. Or how about an outright solution?


Complex Equivalent A + B = C
Cause > Evidence/Effect > Meaning (value criterion)
Cause —What makes it so?
Meaning > How do you know that?

For the sake of illustration, lets use this complex equivalent:

If we adopt that policy/process/project then we are inviting disaster.
A Policy) + B (Adopting/approving) = C (disaster)


1. Change Frame: Something they haven’t noticed? Different frame, same behavior.

I am curious: would you maintain your belief if you were not responsible for the results? – I am wondering…if you knew that positive results were assured, would you then be against this?

2. Reality Strategy (on cause/evidence): How would you know if it wasn’t true?

Are you so certain that adopting this policy that you are willing to consider other options? – How would you know—by what criteria—if you were mistaken about conclusion?

3. Model of the World (cause/evidence): Switch referential index/Is this true in all world models?

How is it that ABC Inc. adopted this policy and they were successful in its implementation?

4. Intent: What is the purpose of saying this? What is the secondary gain? What are they trying to get or avoid?

Your intent may be to save your department from chaos and disaster…and that is commendable… but is it possible that you are actually keeping the DEF Inc. from greater efficiency/profitability? – Your intent may be to avoid the confusion and insecurity that comes with change but is it possible your resistance will keep your team/department from increased productivity?

5. Time Distortion: What were they thinking BEFORE they decided to believe this? What could you do to get them back to this time?

Was there a time, just before or after we began deliberating this policy/project where you thought it was possible? – I am curious, can we go back to just before you made the decision against this move… what were you thinking/feeling at that point?

6. Counter Example: Invert belief/Was there ever a time when A did not = B? Always? Every time? Has to be?

We adopt new policies all the time and with great success… -- Think hard: does this choice have to lead to disaster? In your mind would adopting this project be wrong in every situation, context?

7. Redefine on cause/evidence: What other meaning could this equation have? A/=B, A=C and that is D.

The real issue here is not the project but the competence of those involved in its implementation. – Adopting this policy/project actually gives us greater flexibility (or efficiency or profitability or opportunity for our people to expand their horizons) and this is a good thing.

8. Chunk Up (exaggerate on cause/evidence): For what purpose? What’s important about this?

So you prophecy certain disaster? -- There is no possible way or context for this to work? – There is nothing good or worthy about this policy/project… nothing whatsoever?

9. Chunk Down: Which X specifically? How specifically does it cause Y?

What specifically about this policy/project do you believe will lead to disaster?

10. Redefine on effect/beliefs/values: What other meaning could this equation have? A/=B, A=C and that is D.

This policy/project will not lead to disaster but to an incredible adventure… to opportunities for greater profitability… to…

11. Another outcome (what is more relevant?): What is another outcome? Whether I “x” or not isn’t the real issue, but rather…

Okay, whether nor not we adopt this policy is not the only issue here. Another issue is do we trust management (or research or staff)? – The real issue here is profitability (or efficiency or x): are we agreed that this our chief concern?

12. Consequences: What will happen if they continue to think this way?

Is it possible that one of the dangers with holding this position is that you will miss out on an opportunity to prove your worth to the Inc.? – This is the best policy/project our geniuses could come up with: if we do not adopt it, is it possible we will be left with choices that have even less opportunity for success?

13. Hierarchy of Criteria on effect/beliefs/values: What is/are higher criteria? Apply higher criteria to current sentence.

Whether on not this policy/project will lead to disaster is not the only great concern here: what is is that you have adopted a position without fully investigating its potential and possibilities. Are you being intellectually honest here?

14. Metaphor/Analogy: Within the context of a story, what would the opposite of this be?

While researching the data, I ran across X Corporation that adopted this policy/project: this is how they succeeded…tell the story. –Or what about the one where department x had the opportunity to implement this policy/project…and didn’t?

15. Or how about an outright solution.

You say this will lead to disaster because of points 1-2-3: here is where/why/how you are mistaken and how this policy/project will succeed.

If you really want to have some fun, use these against your own most cherished assertions! At the very least you will be more prepared for defending your argument. And, who knows ... you may also see some cracks in your thinking that lead you to loosen up a bit.

Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2010